I’m trying….everyday I’m trying. As I sit here and I write this I find myself hating my life more and more. The way it’s become it’s just devastating. I feel like my marriage is just an inch away from being a disaster. I’m truly unhappy and I can’t seem to find myself. I want to start writing my next novel and I’m at a loss of words. I have many ideas but I can’t write them down. It’s like something is absorbing my soul and sucking the life out of me. I can’t remember the last time I was truly happy. Maybe it’s time I put my marriage to rest. Every time we see each other I just want to scream at him and fight with him and when we’re away from each other I miss him. What kind of shit is that? I feel like that’s a bipolar love connection. 

Some days I sit and I want to cry but I can’t even bring myself to tears. I’m constantly ready to just pack up my shit and leave. But where would I go and where would I take myself. I don’t have the friends who can take me in. So I’m literally stuck. Plus I have all my animals I need to take care of because God forbid he lift a finger to do that. Okay I said enough for tonight. Until next time!


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